Wonder !

Sometimes I wonder what is “all this” about.
“What all this?” you would ask. This entire ritual of waking up, brushing, bathing, hurrying to work, slogging your butt out, returning home, listening to bullshit from every goddamnit family member, every friend, every other person in your life, digesting all the bullshit along with the food you eat, going to bed cursing the goddamn day and then waking up to another one with the same crappy schedule.

What are we doing to ourselves? What am I doing to myself? And why? What is the purpose of this? What?

Is it really happening or is it just a dream? Am I suddenly going to wake up and say “thank god its over”. Imagine that you really were to wake up now and realize that life was just a dream. That that what you thought for real wasn’t real. That your friends weren’t there, that your house, your family, your office all of it was just a figment of your imagination. All this pain, this suffering, this thing called life was an illusion. Even the happiness, the sense of achievement, the woes and worries, the feeling of Love, the longing for your loved one, all of it just vanished like it were never a part of you.

What are we without all this pain and pleasure, love and hurt, happiness and tears? This is what I am. This is what I identify myself with. This is all, my mind and heart can perceive. Though at times there is a war between my own heart and mind, I do manage a compromise, which may not always be without a grudge. And at the end of the day I am still alive. Alive but wondering “do I still think I know it all”?

Nevertheless, there is one thing my years of experience as a human being have taught me over and over again - that I really don’t comprehend all of this in its entirety. That my mind still needs to understand more, learn more and grow more. That one day I shall know all that is to be known, if not ALL atleast all that my little mind would be able to absorb at its stage of evolution or journey towards enlightenment, should I say!

Till then I WONDER !